Revolutions

it’s 2:48 a.m. on a Sunday

and shit is about to go down

home

I’m back home for a little while and so far it’s pretty nice. I went out with a couple old friends tonight and it was really cool seeing them again. I think I’m gonna go for a walk or a bike ride; I always like doing that late at night when I’m home. For some reason it functions as a time machine and I feel all these feelings I did when I lived here year-round. Besides the sky looks enormous tonight. Sometimes I look up when it’s getting dark outside and it just seems crazy how big it is. By nature, it envelopes everything, but still actually looking up at it and thinking about it gets me sometimes. Also in terms of music, I think I’m gonna write a new song even though I have more than a couple in the vault right now. All the best, catch you later.

Why I can’t sleep at 2:47 a.m. on a Saturday morning

I’m laying in bed listening to my new original track, I originally viewed it as a sort of spiritual successor to “I Remember” which as you know is one of my favorite works. I have entitled the song “Celestina”, for some reason it just makes sense, can’t tell you why. Anyhow I really want to either show it to you guys or work on it more just for the hell of it but it might be about to be released by a very big label. If that’s the case, then alright, the changes I would make would be so tiny that no one would ever, ever know. If not though, it would be lots of fun to play with. It’s for reasons like this that I don’t really like the whole label thing. I want to just make music and put it out. If a label is down to put something out then cool, I can be patient. I just hate being left in the dark on my own creation. I’m being melodramatic but I rarely ever do that so I’ll give myself justification. Anyhow, needless to say, I’m really emotionally invested in this song and I really want it to be it’s best. It’s hard to say if it actually needs work or if I’m just in mental overdrive about the whole affair and am being insecure. The thing that it has going for it I suppose is something I’m really not used to. My whole aesthetic rides on this brooding maximalism in that I am constantly introducing new textures and atmospheres, the aural landscape is liquid and floating. In this track, despite the fact that it has more tracks/instruments than anything I’ve ever worked on, has this very clear minimalism to it. In a way, I like this. Each aspect is absolutely vital, it reminds me a little of Song #2. Song #2 was an old track of mine which is why it was more focused on melodies/harmonies rather than on evolving and twisting through space. This song is definitely in that musical zone. Ironic how I wanted to make a twin of “I Remember” and it ended up with such a “Song #2” aesthetic. Regardless, “Song #2” is technically my 2nd most popular song so this might not necessarily be a bad thing. I guess I just care so much for this song that I really want it to be the best it can be. I just wish I knew what was to become of it because it’s stressful otherwise. I suppose most of the reason I worry about it is because I sang on it. I haven’t done that since high school and back then I was into rock, not electronica in any capacity really. Even though I record my guitar parts, record my piano playing, nothing really hits upon my feelings than actually singing. I’d like to get better in that department because the better I am, the more expansive the vocals can be. Shit, I just feel like I want to add more to this track but deep inside I know that keeping it simple is better. I’d rather keep the clean vitality of the track rather than weigh it down with meaningless sound.

3:01 a.m. goddamn it I’m gonna open up the project and play with it until I pass out.

5:00 a.m. mischief managed